"No."

As a parent, there are a lot of times when you have to say no.

Especially, I'm learning, when you have an [almost!] one-year-old who is just beginning to discover and explore a great big world...crawling and walking and reaching and climbing and grabbing and eating. 

He doesn't know yet what belongs to him, what belongs to others, what will hurt him, or what will hurt others.

For a while we couldn't tell if Knox understood the word NO.

But we have passed that stage. 

He definitely knows now.

When we say no now he gets a very serious look on his face and even shakes his head no along with us.

No means no.

But saying no isn't fun.  I don't think any parent enjoys saying no.   

Every day I try to look for and make a big deal of the YES's, too, so that I'm not always just saying no.

But sometimes NO is very necessary.
1.) Like when something is harmful to my child (i.e. electrical outlets, drinking daddy's coffee...);

2.) when something is harmful to others (i.e. hitting other people, pulling on mommy's earrings...); and

3.) when it's not time yet (i.e. that pile of colorfully wrapped birthday presents in mommy and daddy's room that are being saved for the BIG DAY...).

Eventually Knox will understand a little better that certain things might hurt him, or might hurt others...he will eventually learn the meaning of "wait until tomorrow."  (Although, if he's anything like his dad, he'll be asking to open his presents early for the rest of his life.)  :)

But right now he doesn't understand any of that.  He just hears NO. 

This has been intriguing for me to consider, because although God says YES to me a lot, sometimes He says NO, too.

Sometimes I don't like his rules.  Sometimes I don't like His answer to my prayer.

And like a little child, I don't understand why.  I get angry, I protest, I reach for what I want anyway.

Why can't I play with the electrical outlet?  It is (obviously) the most exciting looking item in the whole house!

I can't see that He is saying no because it is going to hurt me.  

Why can't I pull on mommy's earrings?  They're so colorful and inviting!

I can't see that He is saying no because it's going to hurt someone I love.

Why can't I tear open that bright wrapping paper?  It's TANTALIZING and it's mine, isn't it?!

I can't see that He is saying no because He has set it aside to give it to me later, on a special day.

God loves me even more than I love Knox. 

That is a lot of love.

I hope that the next time God says no to me I will hear myself saying no to Knox...and see His kind heart and loving intentions for me even when I don't fully understand the whys.

Whenever God says NO, it is because He has a big YES to give us later.

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline,
   and do not resent his rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
   as a father the son he delights in.

Proverbs 3:11-12

Hidden In My Field

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field,

which a man found and hid;

and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has 

and buys that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant 

seeking beautiful pearls,

who, when he had found one pearl of great price,

went and sold all that he had and bought it.

Matthew 13:44-46

I have found my treasure...my one pearl!

His name is Jesus.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock.

If anyone hears My voice and opens the door,

I will come in to him and dine with him,

and he with Me.

Revelation 3:20

Just Before the Sun Comes Up

 
4 When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” 

5 But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.” 

6 And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.  7 So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. 

8 When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!” 

9 For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish which they had taken.  

Luke 5:4-9

Does anyone else think it's a little interesting that on this particular day, when Peter leaned over the side of his boat and saw that his nets were overflowing with shiny, flapping fish, his first response was not to jump up and down for joy? 

His first response was to ask Jesus to leave him, because he was overwhelmed with a realization of how sinful he was.

That caught my attention when I read these verses the other day.


Why?  How did seeing those fish make Peter suddenly so aware of his sinfulness?

I didn't see the answer at first, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I think it's because although Peter believed Jesus, and although he was obedient, he was also doubtful.

He had just sat in his boat for hours next to this man Jesus, listening to Him preaching to multitudes who were hanging on His every word, listening from the shore.

Peter was impressed by what he heard and saw in Jesus.  He knew this Jesus was no ordinary guy...that He was someone truly Special.

But Peter also knew fish.

Before Jesus asked to borrow his boat he had been just been fishing all night, and with no luck. 


There just weren't any fish to be caught. 

So when Jesus told him to row back out and drop his nets, Peter wanted to believe in this Jesus; He wanted to believe He could do something out of the ordinary...a miracle...in his life...if He wanted to.

But he was also doubtful.  Master, I'm not sure if You know this but we have just toiled all night and caught nothing.  Are you sure about this?

And even with the doubt lingering in the back of his mind, Peter decided to do what Jesus told him to do.  He obeyed.  Because he really did believe this was no ordinary man.  

...nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.

He rowed his boat back out to sea and threw his nets overboard.

He believed.  And he obeyed.  But he also voiced some doubt. 

Sound familiar?

It does to me.

Oftentimes even in believing, and even in obeying, we doubt.


Then, when we peer over the edge of our boat and actually catch a glimpse of all the fish wriggling and jumping and tearing our nets...when God answers our prayers, when He provides for our needs, when He meets us in prayer and overwhelms us with His love...we are astonished that God actually came through for us!

And then we, like Peter, suddenly get it.

We can see so clearly, in hindsight, how wrong we were to doubt Him.

Lord, I don't deserve this!  I doubted You!!  I know who You are, I know what You can do...and yet I still doubted you.

When we see the miracle, we hang our heads in shame.

I am a sinful man, O Lord!  I don't deserve to be near You.  I doubted You.

But Jesus says,

Do not be afraid.  From now on you will catch men.  (v. 10b)

In His loving, patient, and quiet way.

Yes, I saw your doubts. I heard them.  I know how weak you are.

But I love you.  And I also saw your faith.

Don't be afraid.

From now on you will catch men.

Peter, I know I just blew you away with what I put in your net, but this is just the beginning!!!  There is so much more that I am going to do in your life!  I have a plan for you and you are going to see even bigger things than this...

Wow.  That is grace.


And so, Peter learned his lesson and never doubted Jesus again.  He lived happily ever after, trusting Jesus every time.

HA!

Nope, that line is not in there.

Peter did doubt again, many times.  But he also believed.

Months later, when Jesus told Peter to come and walk out on the water to meet Him (Matt. 14:28-32), Peter remembered all the miracles he had seen Jesus do before.  I bet the picture of all those fish filling and weighing down his boat flashed through his mind.

And he believed!  Peter stepped out of the boat and walked on the water!!

But then he looked around at his surroundings and realized what was happening (that he was walking on water!  and that there were big scary waves all around him!) and he began to doubt.

Yes Jesus had worked in the past, but this...this was way too impossible.

And he began to sink.

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matt. 14:31)

We believe, and we obey.  And yet we doubt.

It's so easy to believe Him in the part of the story where we are basking in the blessing...staring at the answer to our prayer, living our dream, leaning over the side of the boat watching the fish so plentiful that they are breaking our nets... 

But right before that, during the part of the story where we're slowly rowing out to sea for the second time in a day to throw down our nets where we know there are no fish...

That's when it's hard to believe.

Father, help us to trust You more FULLY, even in the dark hours that always come just before the sun comes up.

Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!  Mark 9:24

A Thousand Things

 There are a thousand things 

I must do, Lord.

You know this.

Clothes to be mended,

pictures to be hung,

towels to be returned,

parties to be given,

people to be loved.

Yet I cannot seem to free myself from You.

You keep pulling at my heart.

When I can be torn no longer

I stop

surrender all of me to You.

And in this moment there is

such joy, such peace, such fullness.

Why didn't I stop sooner, Lord,

Heed the calling of my heart?

For I easily could have missed you

in the thousand things I still must do.

-Betty Skinner

from "The Hidden Life"

Fire & Flood

I love Isaiah 43.  It's usually the first passage I read when I'm feeling scared, discouraged, overwhelmed or insecure.  I've picked out my favorite verses and pasted them below.

It was written to encourage the Israelites when they were in captivity in Babylon.  They were slaves.  I'm sure they didn't feel like they were "God's chosen people."  They needed a reminder of who they really were in God's eyes.  

They also needed a reminder that He was still with them even in this dark place.  He promises that He will preserve and care for them as they walk through some of the toughest days of their lives.   

This pain won't last forever, God promises them, and us.  Wait for Me!  Watch what I'm about to do!

Whenever I read the first two verses, I substitute my own own name every time it says "Jacob" or "Israel."  Try it with your name:

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, 

And He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; 

I have called you by your name; You are Mine. 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; 

And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. 

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, 

Nor shall the flame scorch you. 

(Isaiah 43:1,2) 

 

God knows us better than anyone.  He made us!  He knows my name and He knows your name.  We can have a real, intimate relationship with Him.  

We are HIS!

God never promises that He'll always keep the fire and flood away from us.  The fire and the flood will come.  But He does promise that if we cling to Him those painful experiences will not get the best of us.  They can't destroy us!  He will never leave us to face anything by ourselves.

He is with us. 

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These next verses remind the Israelites how God had saved them in the past.  He saved them before; He would do it again! We can use this reminder, too.  We can stop and think of all the ways God has helped us in the past; and most of all how God has saved us from the biggest fire of all: He gave Jesus for our ransom.  

He gave His Son in our place so that we could have eternal life.  This life and salvation is free to anyone who will accept it from Him!

For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, 
your Savior; 

I gave Egypt for your ransom, 

Ethiopia and Seba in your place.

Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, 

And I have loved you; 

Therefore I will give men for you, 

And people for your life.

(Isaiah 43:3,4)

Did you hear that?  The God of the universe is saying to you and to me, I have not forgotten you!  I have rescued you in the past and I will do it again.  You are precious to Me.  I love you!  I love you so much that I gave My Son to die in your place. 

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Fear not, for I am with you...

Everyone who is called by My name,  

Whom I have created for My glory; 

I have formed him, yes, I have made him.

Indeed before the day was, I am He; 

And there is no one who can deliver out of My hand; 

I work, and who will reverse it?  

(Isaiah 43:5a, 7)

We have no reason to fear.  God knows our name!  And then, when we become His children by trusting in Jesus, He gives us HIS name as well.  We are Christians.  We exist to bring Him glory.  

Have you ever wondered, "What is the meaning of life?  What is my purpose in this world?"  God tells us right here.  

He created us to bring Him glory; He chose us (!) to showcase His glory, or (as John Piper would say) His spectacularness.

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Behold, I will do a new thing,  
Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? 

I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.

This people I have formed for Myself;  They shall declare My praise.

(Isaiah 43:13, 19, 21) 

When we find ourselves in the raging fire, or knocked over by stormy waves...we have hope!   It won't last forever.  God is "on the move."  

Watch for Him...and He will do something new.